Friday, October 17, 2008

Five More Minutes

I don't know if you know or remember what it's like to train yourself to run outside (starting from out-of-shape)? My roommate loves running (she ran track in high school) and is probably in the best shape of anyone I know. And I, on the other hand, can make gym equipment work for me but running outdoors always feels twice as hard. I think when you're a true runner, the gym must be only for amateurs. Anyway, we were jogging at Katie trail last weekend and being the encourager that she is challenged me to run for five minutes straight (I had already been jogging/walking/jogging for about 30 minutes at this time) and was feeling like I was about done. But I decided to try. And I have to say, that was the longest 5 minutes of my life. She held her fingers up periodically, indicating the time we had left until the five minutes was up. Four fingers... three fingers... two fingers... I thought that last minute felt like ten. But finally it came - Along with a sense of accomplishment (and total lack of air).

I feel like this is where I've been with God for awhile now. I'm just straining to see how much I longer I can last. "Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds for you know the testing of your faith develops endurance." I guess I had a really nice stretch there for awhile and now it's time to get back to business. The business of being more and more like Christ. But instead of being excited at the prospect of shedding yet another bad habit or vice that's been weighing me down and holding me back, I find myself sulking and getting angry at the way things are going. I wish it were over... that I was already done and that part of me had already died, the stubborn part who always wants her own way.